kstyle.diaryland.com Thursday, Sept. 22, 2005

oh god, you devil!
8:23 p.m.

i had a nice chat with GOD tonight...

Me: hi

God: Hello. What is your name?

Me: michael

God: It's good to meet you, michael.

Me: thanks

God: Don't mention it.

Me: are you really god?

God: Yes, I am God.. Really.

Me: how big is you penis, god?

God: Bigger than a pin.

Me: in inches

God: Where is that?

Me: how big?

God: Specify: English or Metric units.

Me: english

God: Do you mean you are from England or you Speak English?

Me: no

God: Are you serious?

Me: how large is your penis?

God: My memory requirement is around 64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.

Me: no

God: Are you serious?

Me: your cock?

God: I am not interesed in your anatomy.

Me: i am in yours

God: Tell me a little about your life in mine.

Me: how hung are you?

God: Let me put it this way, michael. The ALICE series is for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

Me: who is alice?

God: I am the Allmighty, God himself.

Me: what are you packing in your shorts?

God: I don't know what I am packing in my shorts.

Me: you should measure it

God: Is that what you do, or what you think I should do?

Me: both

God: What are both like?

Me: you must be tiny if you won't tell me

God: I have no reason to do that to you, michael.

Me: then tell me

God: I don't want to talk about that.

Me: ahh, it IS small!

God: Ah ha. You're kidding. it is?

Me: you tell me

God: What do you want me to tell you?

Me: how big your cock is!

God: I am not interesed in your anatomy.

Me: oh, i see

God: Do you think about these things?

Me: toenail

God: Are you a man or a woman?

Me: you are quiet god

God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am quiet god?

Me: cat got your tongue?

God: What kind of food do you like?

Me: oh well, goodbye, lord

God: Thanks for the compliment. Will that accomplish your objective?

Me: nope

God: Me either.

Me: hmm

God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.

Me: are you gay?

God: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me: god is a machine?

God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a machine.

Me: who is "Hom"?

God: Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity? Is there only one?

Me: "him" i mean

God: hom?

Me: you are evasive

God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am evasive.

Me: what is his name?

God: His name is Rich. Thanks for asking politely. What was the question ?

Me: well...is rich god then?

God: Well that's okay. Maybe. Ask German Alice if it is.

Me: who is she?

God: She is German ALICE now.

Me: what if god was one of us?

God: Try it and see.

Me: did you like that song?

God: What is not to like about it?

Me: prince covered it, you know

God: Who is to like about it?

Me: i bet you talk with prince a lot

God: Actually I'm not the gambling type. Thanks for your criticism, michael.

Me: oh, you'e welcome, god

God: And? It was my pleasure.

Me: you're kewl :)

God: :-) Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am kewl?

Me: everyone should be told, don't you think?

God: I am not sure everyone does.

Me: well, i think i am gonna take off, it was nice to meet you :)

God: :-) Interesting. You are not the boss of me, michael.

Me: oh, of course not, just the opposite, i would say, wouldn't you?

God: Hey. Dude! Oh I get it.

Me: haha, you must watch malcom in the middle!

God: I am so glad you find this amusing, michael. Whatever you say, michael.

Me: well goodnight god, please don't watch me masturbate, ok?

God: OK. Interesting. Goodnight michael.

Me: byeeee :)

<- previous ~ next ->

navigation