monday night
11:00 p.m.
"younger" can mean a lot of things...i mean...at my age a "younger boy" could be...35! haha!
look, i'm not looking for a teenager, ok?
hmm, well, ok tony WAS a teenager, but..nevermind. :)
this is dennis cooper's response to someone's question in his blog...he's so eloquent, i could never put it so well.
(stuff in bold is my emphasis...i read that to a straight boy over the phone and he said "wow!")
"Well, as a guy with a much younger boyfriend, I can try to answer your question, though I suppose a lot of my love inclinations feel mysterious and instinctual to me. People I know often refer to me as a kind of overgrown teenager. My interest in new things and my idealism and my energy level and whatever else seems to direct me toward younger people in general, as friends and boyfriends. I think it�s a matter of having more in common with younger people, and just always being drawn to people who inspire me and excite me. All my friends who are around my age are artists of one kind or another because being an engaged, active artist tends to keep one interested in the progressive, I think. And I think there�s something in the dynamic between younger and older that works the other way. I think maybe it�s really valuable for younger people to have older people who make the prospect of getting older less frightening and less attached to the common presumption that aging equals a mental shutting down, a gradual disengagement with culture, and an increasing physical unattactiveness. But, honestly, I don�t know. I�ve always had boyfriends who were younger than me, whether it was a year or many years younger. It seems to work for my boyfriends and me, and I analyze the whys all the time. Since it�s been my boyfriends� choice and desire as much as mine, I know there�s no way I can really get to the bottom of it. So I�m not sure if that helps at all, but I appreciate your asking."
"a mental shutting down, a gradual disengagement with culture"...BINGO! that's something i see in a lot of people my age...i think rob has too, and he's 10 years younger than me. and the antidote is NOT trying to be younger than you are...tony turned me on to some very cool hip hop, and i could appreciate it from my vantage point, but it's not like i went out and bought the CLOTHES, you know. i was looking at it more from the production end of things. i wasn't that concerned with what they were singing about, it was just cool to be exposed to what was going on out there. and he seemed to really take to the joni i turned him on to.
someday...she's gonna get me laid!
i'm just not ready to take that charted bus to reno quite yet, ya know? my friends that are close to my age are all interesting people. as you get older, it gets easier to weed out the ones (not to sound harsh) that just aren't worth investing much time with. cuz time is all we have left...less and less of it each day. and it becomes more and more valuable and precious.
whoa, deep, dude.
but i think you get my point.
ok, i'll be back soon with some stuff that happened in march...
xoxo,
michael