soup for one.. .
it's what for dinner at the pity party...
7:16 p.m.
oh man, did i ever put myself through some emotional stress this week...
the seven deadly sins...pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth...
i cycled through most of 'em...sometimes several at once! i'm not gonna say which ones, that's not important...
i felt like a fifth wheel...or maybe a backseat driver?
and why isn't PARANOIA on that list?
you have to trust and believe people, especially the
ones you trust and believe in...does that make sense?
but my stomach was hurting, maybe moths instead of butterflies...i was trying to send out an s.o.s but he wasn't reading it that way i guess...some distractions...
(i can ONLY imagine)...
and what i DON'T know can't hurt me.
i dunno, i just felt lost...lonely...and scared for some reason.
oh, and JEALOUSY...honey, that's a lot different than envy, though i dunno if i can put it into words...
well, so far, this sounds pretty pathetic.
*********
i saw something odd at work last week. and i don't know if i even saw what i THINK i saw. if you're gonna be stupid, go rent a room.
*********
it's weird, cuz, at the same time i've been doing really good this week in personal matters...i've been walking like a motherfucker. i'm down 8 lbs.
(my friend stood up, and his tummy was...nice. he HAD pants on, you dirty birds. sometimes that boy can
inspire me in ways he wouldn't understand yet.)
oh, haha, speaking of tummies, casey put a new pic on his gay.com profile...open shirt and that leopard belt he wore in high school...I saw his name in the oakland/easy bay room the other night, but i didn't want to interrupt him...i'll catch up with him soon. work is so different without him around. uh, that should be EAST bay...but "easy" looks so funny, i'm leaving it in!
my friend tmb had a funny entry, about running into carson from queer eye...click that link there if you like...ooh, and tmb just linked my..."artistic" photos from my last entry...thanks, bro!
and i've been thinking, i'm sure glad no one knew who
all those odd "shift" entries late last year were about...
i think it WAS some of my best writing, though...really loose and abstact.
*blush*
ok, i feel better...life is just complicated, ya know?
you never can tell what's gonna happen...
oh...NO DRUNK DRIVING, ever! i mean it!
time to regroup, relax, reconfigure, decompress, chill, zone out, etc. i'll see ya after the weekend...
love,
- m.