shadows and light
12:17 a.m.
it's been a weird weekend...an online friend that i haven't heard from in a while messaged me saturday...
"i actually have some really terrrible news... hate to throw it at you but ... would be weird not telling you... i am utterly sick at heart and re-telling everyone sucks... but my partner passed away about 2 weeks ago to suicide with a rope... i've beeen so heart sick... been to the therapists... still seeing them 1-2 times a week for a bit... it has helped, he battled it all his life, his family said they thought he was ok for the first time since i came along... but he lost his mom, then his job... i still can't believe its real... and not a dream... my whole world is upside down, i'm back at my parents because, for the most part... its a safe place to be ..."
oh man, that was a long tough chat. we're gonna talk on the phone soon...i never talked to his partner, or even saw a picture of him...but saturday night i burned a candle in his memory for a few hours, and when i blew it out i said goodbye and wished him well.
i hope my friend doesn't mind i posted his words...was that wrong?
two customers died over the last couple weeks...one i knew casually since i was a kid, him and his wife at the time were friends of my parents...and the other was a guy that we all really liked at the store. mark was in a wheelchair, he had a motorcycle accident years ago. he was always with his big black dog, muddy...he got married a few years ago, and we all chipped in and paid for the rolls of wedding pics we developed...he had become a subtance abuse counselor and really helped a lot of people. he just died in his sleep. i had seen him about a week before...
ok, time to lighten things up...get this...wang in china has a bf! he messaged me last night... wang: are you there? kstyle57: yes , hello wang! wang: what are you doing? kstyle57: oh, i just went for a walk, it is nice and cool out tonight wang: i have some pictures to send to you kstyle57: ok, great! kstyle57: in the mail you mean? wang: This is my lover, I make love with him last night kstyle57: oh my, that is wondeful, you found someone! wang: yes, Is him handsome? wang: He is beside me kstyle57: oh, right now? wang: yes kstyle57: he is very handsome, what is his name? wang: have you seen it? kstyle57: yes i see it wang: Huang zhi kstyle57: tell him hello from california wang: This is the picture of being photoed in the hotel last night kstyle57: ahh i see, i am happy for you, wang! a little jealous perhaps, haha wang: do you love him? kstyle57: is there a picture of you also? well, i dont know if i love him, he is so lucky to have such a nice boy like you wang: thank you, kstyle, I love you too kstyle57: aww, you are sweet! did you meet at school? wang: I want to be more handsome and look older as well kstyle57: oh, you will kstyle57: but you are fine just as you are kstyle57: do you have more pictures? one of you i would like wang: no, meet through the internet, and he is in the same city whit me wang: ok, I will send to you kstyle57: ok wang: and do you also have some of you? kstyle57: hmm, yes a few new ones wang: can you send them to me? wang: this is body and penis of me, wish you like kstyle57: yes, i like kstyle57: the one i am sending is me at my workplace wang: wait for me, meal kstyle57: ok, me too, eating a salad wang: finish kstyle57: did you get my picture? wang: yes, you are selling? kstyle57: yes, film and photos kstyle57: here i will send you another wang: thank you kstyle57: there, did that one arrive? wang: no wang: once again kstyle57: i thik i made a mistake, will try again wang: ok wang: now it should be there wang: no kstyle57: hmmm wang: 99% is now here kstyle57: damn kstyle57: will try different one wang: ok kstyle57: now? kstyle57: that is a nude of me, but it is artistic wang: yes, your head and all body kstyle57: hehe, yes kstyle57: ok, i will try another wang: ok kstyle57: did that arrive? wang: no wang: can not receive kstyle57: i will do again wang: waitfouyou kstyle57: it failed i think? wang: received kstyle57: oh good, that is my fashion shot haha kstyle57: i am down at the bay wang: very clear, cool you are kstyle57: hehe, like a model kstyle57: you have any more new pictures? wang: do you like the photo I send to you just now? kstyle57: of you? mm, yes much kstyle57: ok, another one to you wang: thanks kstyle57: did you get another from me? wang: ok, I send one to you kstyle57: yes i see, i recognize that! wang: I send to you this before? kstyle57: no, no, but i know that penis kstyle57: :) wang: =P~ kstyle57: haha kstyle57: i am so happy you have a man kstyle57: i will go through my pictures tomorrow and email you some, ok? wang: thank you, he is in the same city with me kstyle57: how old is he? wang: 30 kstyle57: ahh, i see wang: he is very good to me and to each other kstyle57: that is nice wang: sure wang: do you have man now? kstyle57: no:( kstyle57: still not kstyle57: but i am not trying too hard i guess wang: wish you have kstyle57: me too kstyle57: i have fun at awc sometimes, but not real, you know? wang: I know wang: find a man and you will be happy kstyle57: yes kstyle57: sometime i hope to wang: try to chat with the man in your city wang: and meet them kstyle57: i am going to the local gay pride festival next month, i will meet many people kstyle57: yes, one wanted to meet me, a married man, but i think heis with many men, and i don't like that, you know? wang: find a fresh man? kstyle57: hehe, yes i guess, it can't just be about sex kstyle57: want a real relationship kstyle57: where are you now, at your friend's house? wang: no, in my own house ,and go to his at night kstyle57: oh you said he is there with you? wang: no, he is at work, at night he will go back kstyle57: ahh kstyle57: is it wonderful to make love? wang: yes, have pain a little wang: but it is nice after all I think kstyle57: give him a kiss from me wang: you like him and now you are seeing his photo kstyle57: hehe yes, he is a beautiful man wang: sure, do you met one man before? kstyle57: the one i was talking about ? no, we emailed, but he was too eager to make love...i saw him, he's handsome but i think he has too many men wang: do you have photo of him? kstyle57: yes wang: can you send to me? kstyle57: did you get it? wang: yes, he is old kstyle57: hehe, about MY age kstyle57: i wiil try another picture of me wang: ok kstyle57: get that one? with hat? kstyle57: you are there? wang: yes kstyle57: did you get hat picture? wang: yes,very nice kstyle57: ok kstyle57: thank you kstyle57: one more... wang: ok kstyle57: picture of me dancing at home:D kstyle57: you see? and as usual, the connection got broken... ok, i'll be back in a day or two with tales of catsitting, funny phone calls, and all sorts of other stuff. oh, and rob met up with our dland girl abwhite and her hubby in n'awlins today! more on that next time, too! alrighty, go hug someone...tight...ok? love, - m.