tv party tonight
1:24 a.m.
weird tv stuff tonight...la toya jackson on larry king...god, she really looked good, if a bit janet-y. i realize all those times on howard stern with her freaky, controlling husband/manager that she must have been drugged or something...at least compared to how she was tonight...the difference was really amazing. she always seemed like a zombie, but tonight she was like...i dunno, a REAL person. she has a new album coming out, of course. she was defending michael (didn't she really trash him at one time?) and daddy joseph even phoned in! that family, they're really something, huh?
the donnas were just on conan...ick, i don't like them, i never have. there's just something a bit...off...about them that i can't quite put my finger on. they're so not cool the way sleater-kinney are, and it just seems like a runaways re-hash anyway. (good god, the runaways, THAT was almost 30 years ago!) oh, the donnas can rock their titties off, but they just look awkward or something...the singer's microphone body language is all wrong...geez, i'm picky, aren't i?
the other tv moment tonight was fred durst on howard stern talking about this whole britney thing...did they or didn't they? i guess they did, but she's denying it. howard got fred to at least say that she doesn't shave down there (a TUMBLEWEED howard called it!) and oh, i dunno, she blew him or something, big deal. AND...he said the boobs are real. i always thought durst was kinda borderline cute/gross...he was really uncomfortable with the line of questioning...but what did he expect? oh, and MY GOD, was he STONED!
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hmmm, what else...?
new google:
"shania twain embarrassing pictures".
alvie says he reads me every day...i'm touched! really, that's sweet. he's so funny..oh, and he used to live in MCKINLEYVILLE! hmmm, now why does THAT ring a bell?
i had a nice chat with steve from ohio last night...on the PHONE, no less! an hour and a half! he's going to france in june, and i have the perfect book to get for him to read on the flight over... me talk pretty one day! the whole second half of the book is all about sedaris adjusting to life in france, it's SO funny! i wanna post the story "jesus shaves" here on easter. i hope i can find it online, cuz if i have to type it out i'd better start tonight!
steve sent me a postcard from kent state, and i hope he didn't think it was weird when i told him that i kissed the postcard at the post office, god that sounds so odd...i was all "oooh, a card from steve - smack!" no one was around, it was like 9:30 at night...i'm gonna send him some redwood forest postcards or something...oh, and please won't you go put a dot on steve's GUESTMAP ? i'm lonely there all by myself!
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i saw some interesting pictures at work today...of a big boxing event in vegas. i could make out don king (the hair, duh!) but not the fighters. i called rob to see if it might have been the tyson fight, but he said king wasn't at the tyson fight, and that tyson can't even set foot in nevada or something...and i swear there was a picture of o.j., from about 4 feet away! his face was partially obscured, and he was surrounded by what looked like some kind of hip-hop entourage, not a bunch of beefy bodyguards. rob wrote a great entry on tyson HERE...i dunno, i don't really have an opinoin on tyson, i don't know enough about him...i think of him as this kind of beautiful monster, i don't mean beautiful in a sexual sense, but he is kind of amazing looking. but a tattoo on the face, oooh, that's so bad in my book, really disturbing.
i guess o.j. didn't find the real killers in vegas either...god, where could they be?
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gee, i have so many episodes of the kids in the hall on tape, and at three in the morning i STILL see shows i've never seen before...(it's later than that now).
guess i should get going...i have lots of stuff to talk about, though, so expect a big mega-entry or two over the next few days...my weekend is starting, and next week i have THREE days off... i need to make a list of things i really need to get done...ok, to wrap things up, here's a joke rob sent me...
In Tennessee, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young, and I wanted to help the government. So I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out. I knew I wasn't getting any younger, and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a
job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that @#%$."
thank you, thank you! i'll be here all week! be sure to try the veal! and if you're driving home tonight, please try to use a car!
- michael