sunday
5:13 p.m.
talked to the boy on and off this weekend.
i'm calm.
i'm looking at what i'd be loosing not seeing him at all vs. what could have been vs. what the reality is.
and really, nothing has changed. the reality is the same as it's been, right?
it's what was in my mind that i have to adjust.
sounds like he's fine with hanging out. i know where we stand.
these last few entries have made me sound totally bi-polar or something. i had to burst my own bubble last weekend. it had to be done, for my own good.
ok.
well.
what else...
got a postcard from peter yesterday, from paris! he remembered, awww...
"london to paris via superfast train through the chunnel! this town never sleeps and it's hot all day and night. french boys are very handsome...english, not so much. you would love it here. so many places to walk. the underground is so complicated and walking the streets you can be lost in a matter of minutes.
- pete"
he won't be back for 2 more weeks.
eric's art show was great. i just missed kev and dan apparently.
muriel at the museum said i'm looking like a teenager these days!
i DO feel like a teenager some days, but hey, where am i gonna find one?
yuk yuk.
our local pride doo-dah is next sunday. last year i didn't know a soul, i just took pics, my camera was my armor. this year should be way more interesting. j can't go, he's got family stuff. peter's gone. probably hang with kev and dan a bit, and see who i can recognize from online. i'd like to just sit on the grass and have some nice boy's head in my lap.
had a totally straight-up literal dream the other night. no symbolism, no hidden meanings.
first, i was getting very cozy with a young man, on a couch i guess. then i was in bed with him, an older man (well, not as old as ME!) and a woman. but they were all...well, my feet were up where their heads were. i was between the man and the woman. the young man had his shirt off and the older man had his arm around him.
i know who everyone was. so will kiwi.
rob's leaving for new orleans and virginia in a few days. i'm watching chia.
we went to the mall, we were waited on by a guy rob knows from school that i know from the chatroom.
small world. small town.
i looked hot last night, haha! i have a new walk sometimes. cocky, a bit arrogant.
eric's artist statement was very moving. his brother died last year. his relationship broke up. the show was all of garden scenes, watercolors. he had a line about flowers that i want to get hold of and post here. i could really relate...you'll see.
ok, back to work tomorrow.
can't wait for pride, i'm gonna flirt my ass off!
love ya's...
- MICHAEL