tears and kisses
12:41 a.m.
wow, i had a weird start to my day this morning...
i got some dvd's out of my bedroom, stuff i've had for a while that i used to watch on my little bedside player. one of them is this 2 disc joni mitchell set, one disc is this biography documentary that aired on pbs, the other is a concert in the round thing, its so cool, she has all these couches set up, her paintings hanging everywhere. she comes out and does a few songs first by herself, just her and her electric guitar....
well, the second song "just like this train" started up, and shit...i started crying, tears runing down my face...it's not that sad of a song really, its one of her many travel songs, shes talking about a train station, etc....observing people, and reflecting on her life etc....it's from the court and spark album...hmmm '74, '75 i guess..
but yeah, i was standing in front of the tv frozen...crying...i dunno what thats about...weird.
well, having shared all that with you, here's the lyrics....
I'm always running behind the time
Just like this train
Shaking into town
With the brakes complaining
I used to count lovers like railroad cars
I counted them on my side
Lately I don't count on nothing
I just let things slide
The station master's shuffling cards
Boxcars are banging in the yards
Jealous lovin'll make you crazy
If you can't find your goodness
'Cause you lost your heart
I went looking for a cause
Or a strong cat without claws
Or any reason to resume
And I found this empty seat
In this crowded waiting room
Everybody waiting
Old man sleeping on his bags
Women with that teased up kind of hair
Kids with the jitters in their legs
And those wide, wide open stares
And the kids got cokes and chocolate bars
There's a thin man smoking a fat cigar
Jealous lovin'll make you crazy
If you can't find your goodness
'Cause you've lost your heart
What are you going to do now
You've got no one
To give your love too
Well I've got this berth and this pull down blind
I've got this fold up sink
And these rocks and these cactus going by
And a bottle of German wine to drink
Settle down into the clickety clack
With the clouds and the stars to read
Dreaming of the pleasure I'm going to have
Watching your hairline recede
My vain darling
Watching your hair and clouds and stars
I'm rocking away in a sleeping car
This jealous lovin's bound to make me crazy
I can't find my goodness
I lost my heart
Oh sour grapes
Because I lost my heart
steve came up tonight....and get this: he made me dinner!
thai soup with chicken, coconut, lemongrass, ginger, cilantro, etc...omg, it was good! candles on the table.
showed him some joni before he started cooking.
i had to run next door and borrow a can opener from jack, my electric one was fucking up and we couldn't get the coconut milk open!
we watched several episodes of strangers with candy. steve was cracking up. and he brought hedwig and the angry inch, i'd never seen it. great movie.
snuggleosity, etc, was achieved. what's better than a warm body on a cold night?
it's damn nice to feel desireable.
and we can really talk, that's the best. as i've said, let's just see where it goes. we're not BF's or anything. his limited availability could become an issue if i let it, but after a half dozen dates things are progressing nicely, so i'm just gonna enjoy it.
ok, i need to get to bed and see if i can stop smiling. oh, but...i'm gonna heat up some leftover soup first :)
MK