the future
12:13 a.m.
this sounds so futuristic, like something out of william gibson:
i was on awc last night...watching adam barsby...and i was in the big freezone room to see if he was chatting, and someone said that saddam had been captured. i turned on cnn, and watched an african-american gentleman with an italian first name and a dutch last name report from iraq via videophone.
i looked at the cat and said "well, this is history, i should watch for a while."
adam barsby from letford, shropshire, england is a beautiful soul...let's just leave it at that before i embarrass myself. i chatted with him in private for a minute. it's interesting how some straight guys will block you from watching, and some don't care at all.
i was watching him, but i was pretending it was YOU.
did i just say that out loud?
someone from rutgers university came to my page looking for "santa lingerie" and stayed for 18 minutes! and i get sooo many visits from people looking up those "you don't need money" lyrics...who is that band? the shins, right? it's the song in that ipod ad.
casey couldn't make it, his grandma was coming over...maybe wednesday...
my friend keith called last night from oregon, they're not coming down for christmas this year, that's two in a row, damn! he reminded me of something i said when george harrison died...something like "well, we're in the future now..."
got an odd comment on my last entry..."what a strange world." it's from someone i couldn't trace, i hate that.
god, more of my past is coming back to visit me...thursday, as i said, i got an email from my old girlfriend, and friday i got this:
Dear Michael,
Thanks for signing my dad's guestbook and for the kind words. The service was a full honors military funeral with rifle salute, taps, flag folding ceremony--it was very emotional.
I hope you are doing well. If you ever want to get together for coffee or just talk or hang out
let me know. Is it possible to leave the past in the past?? I don't know--I feel like we are still friends, but maybe that's just me--I don't know. Life is too short to worry about stuff--it's draining. I feel drained--beat up...
Anyway, thanks for listening,
Jeff
that's so strange, two days in a row, hearing from the two people, male and female, that i really felt were my soulmates in life.
that boy really broke my heart, and there's a part of me that never got over it. i'm not gonna tell you how long ago that was, cuz it would sound really pathetic.
we weren't a couple or anything, we were both in the closet actuallly, him way deeper than me...i was ready and he wasn't. oh no, i'm not gonna delve into that right now...january, july, and december (christmas eve, drunk in his car in the parking lot at work, oh my god, that was fun)...it was a messy year.
maybe we CAN be friends, i dunno, i blame him for some very odd things that happened. he came WAY out, way before i did. at least his bf in not at all my type, if he had, oh,...some little asian boy or something i'd be bummed, haha! i was talking with one of my teenage friends about going to jeff's store sometime with me, and making him think i'd snagged me some hot sweet thing...oh, but that's a bit sick, even for me.
ok, i am officially rambling now. it's late, should get to bed...the cat scratched my eyelid this morning, trying to get me up....this is getting dangerous! what should i do?
love ya,
- m.