"RHYMES WITH PARIAH" - MICHAEL STIPE
6:39 a.m.

WELL, i don't think i've ever posted this early in the morning without having been up all night...i actually got about 6 hrs. sleep...still coughing, but i'm going to work, get off at three, early tomorrow, and 6a.m. sunday (!) to help hang ad signs....

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some diaries you just have to stop reading, do you know what i mean? there's many reasons - i don't think i'll go into that here...there's just a few d-landers i have to bid farewell to , not that they're even gonna notice..(it's nobody on my buddies list, for fuck's sake...i LOVE you guys!) i think mr. david byrne and the talkin' heads said it best...

------- Mind -------

Time won't change you

Money won't change you

I haven't got the faintest idea

Everything seems to be up in the air

at this time

I need something you change your mind

Drugs won't change you

Religion won't change you

Science won't change you

Looks like I can't change you

I try to talk to you, to make things clear

but you're not even listening to me...

And it comes directly from my heart to you...

I need something to change your mind.

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i mean, there is nothing more tenacious than a hardcore mariah carey fan with a link to MARIAH DAILY.COM. please check it out! (it's the #1 rated mariah fan site, and it's won AWARDS, so there!...and it's so...uh, PINK! they're begging fans to call radio stations and request the new single...they're really organized!)

now, i'd like to think that most of my readers would agree with me that ms. carey sucks extremely large donkey peener...i mean ok, i guess that is a marvelous set of pipes she's got, but why do people like us dismiss her so easily?...i like to say that's not music, it's product...it's not like her #1 fan is gonna stop by here anytime soon anyway...

i thought it was pretty um,...interesting when she had her little kookoo meltdown last year in front of carson daly and all of america, (POPSICLES!) but let's just say my idea of a diva runs more towards joni mitchell and marianne faithful and leave it at that. i could go on and on about this, but i won't. maybe i'll pick up on this after work.

thanks for the cool card, miss k. i feel better already...and HELLO justin, uh...not THAT justin...i mean jr...you're doin' a great job!

11:45a.m.

ok, home for lunch, just have a few minutes...already received some validation (or is it vindication...i can never remember) of my scandalous views, maybe i'll get some hate mail somewhere down the line...that would be fun! i mean, i don't hate ms. carey, i just don't think it's art...and don't expect me to take you seriously when you wear a handkerchief for a dress, missy! this all started when i was trying to get a young mariah fan to broaden his horizons...i introduced him to the very wonderful mr. rufus wainwright, but i think that went over like a fart in church....oh well, i gave it a shot...now i don't know where i'm going with this... um,....white stripes RULE, ok? OK! back to work, more to come...

6:oop.m.

ok, for no good reason whatsoever, this last section is going to be in the form of a Q & A....

Q: so, do you have anything NICE to say about mariah?

A: hmm, let's see, i do remember a pretty impressive performance of "vision of you" on saturday night live several years ago...i mean, she CAN sing...it was nice to see that she can cut it live...though i think she's only toured once...when J-lo was on snl, i'm pretty sure she was lipsyncing, at least one song. course, she's toured, too, and i'll bet the tapes were running. they all do that...janet, madonna...i guess you can't run around like that and be able to sing all the time too. i think audiences accept it, or else they just don't care or even notice.

Q: any other songs come to mind?

A: well, there's that one where she sampled that tom tom club song "genius of love"...um, was that "fantasy"?

Q: i think so...it was more than a sample though, wasn't it?

A: yes, it was more of a rewrite, i'd say. but i heard chris and tina made a fortune off that. paid for their house in the bahamas, if i'm not mistaken.

Q: who's chris and tina?

A: oh, you know, the drummer/bass player married couple from talking heads. and i keep hearing that song on some commercial these days..you've gotta admit, it's a killer little riff!

Q: what's with you and talking heads these days? lyrics on your profile page, lyrics in this entry...what's up?

A: oh, i dunno, they've always been one of my touchstones, especially the first few albums.

Q: isn't that always the case - the first few albums are always the best?

A: yeah, i find that to be the case more often than not. but i'll tell ya ONE thing, i recently read this must be the place: the adventures of talking heads in the 20th century by david bowman. it's not really a very well written book, but david byrne comes off like a real bunghole.

Q: how so?

A: total control freak, for one thing. and you know how much i worship brian eno, but i think he had a lot to do with the band breaking up, even though that happened quite a while after they last worked with him.

Q: please explain.

A: well, on the three albums he produced, eno slowly became sort of a fifth member, eventually getting co-writing credits. this was a big bone of contention with the other three band members. those songs on remain in light were all based on jams, and a very complicated system was devised (partially by eno, i believe) to determine who contributed how much to each song. i know tina especially was really hurt by this whole thing. she's the one who said that by the time the recording was done, byrne and eno were even DRESSING alike...so there was a lot of animosity towards eno.

Q: do you think anyone gives a shit about all this?

A: hey it's my diary, buttmunch...

Q: ok, no need to get rude...getting back to the topic at hand, any final comments on little miss butterfly?

A: well, that video she did a few years ago was really geat soft-core porn.

Q: excuse me?

A: the one with her on rollerskates washing the vintage cars...i mean, even a confirmed bachelor like myself knows that rollerskates + a nice short pair of daisy dukes + soapy water + nipples = fun! it's like i told keith once: "i'm gay, not STUPID!"

Q: i thought it was "i'm gay, not BLIND!"

A: whatever, smartypants...

Q: you think you're real clever, don't you?

A: to quote deiter, "your questions have become tiresome." and anyway, judi next door just brought me some lasagne, and i haven't eaten all day.

Q: oooh, judi's such a great cook...can i have some?

A: no, you're not even real.

Q: ouch...i've gotta admit you've got a point there. well, enjoy your dinner, and goodnight.

A: goodnight, it's been a pleasure talking to me.

Q: isn't it always?

A: (muttering under his breath as he leaves the room) asshole.